by Zak Hanshew
We’ve made it to Week 9, and we’re nearly a third of the way through the NBA season! The Association continues to gift us with spectacular play, as Steph Curry shows us that he’s still got plenty of gas left in the tank, especially when Jaylen Brown hits him with a “too small.” Damian Lillard is finally hitting his stride, and he and Giannis Antetokounmpo have formed a lethal duo in Milwaukee.
Nikola Jokic and the Denver Nuggets look like they’re ready to defend their title, but the defensive-minded Timberwolves and upstart Thunder may have something to say about that. Joel Embiid is a true phenom as a scorer, and the race for MVP is going to be an exciting one this season as Jokic and Luka Doncic look to steal the crown from the 76ers’ center.
We could go on about the real-life NBA all night, but we’re here to talk fantasy hoops!
As always, numerous injuries have freed up extra minutes for rotation players, and we’ve got a slew of high-quality fantasy adds.
This week’s column won’t feature the typical “Tired” and “Wired” layout. In honor of the upcoming Christmas holiday, I thought it would be fun to pay homage to the classic poem, A Visit from St. Nicholas by Clement Clarke Moore, commonly known as The Night Before Christmas or ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. It’s a stanza bonanza for this week’s column, and I hope you enjoy!
Best of luck in your fantasy matchups, happy holidays, and as always, thanks so much for reading!
‘Twas time to hit waivers
And all I desired
Was to know all the players
Who were tired and wired
The quarter poll came
But ‘twas a sad state
And after nine weeks
My fantasy team was just 1-8
Last of the pack
And feeling mighty blue
I turned to Rotoworld
They’d know just what to do!
My children were nestled
All snug in their beds
While visions of a fantasy championship
Danced in my head
My wife in her favorite hoodie
And me in my City Edition cap
Had just settled in
For a long winter’s nap
When up on the screen
There arose such a clatter
I turned up the volume
To see what was the matter
Away to the remote
I flew like a flash
To see Nurkic and Draymond
And a highlight-reel bash
The replay on the breast
Of the now-fallen center
Saw that Green had socked him
In a typical venture
Green was suspended
An indefinite ban
Would his absence mean
That Podziemski’s the man?
The rookie played well
During Draymond’s first suspension
But could he keep it up?
Would it be too much tension?
Podziemski delivered
And the stat lines were sweet
Steve Kerr had finally put him
In the driver’s seat
But disaster struck again
The fantasy gods wouldn’t cut me any slack
When Podz left early Tuesday
With a strained back
Andrew Wiggins’ game was so bad
It produced a foul stench
Maybe that’s why
He ended up coming off the bench
Klay Thompson looked washed
Then started to catch fire
Could he keep up the strong play
And give us what we desire?
With Green suspended
And Podz banged up
It was time for more Warriors
To finally step up
Steve Kerr had to decide
Just how to manage this game
And he whistled, and shouted
And called them by name:
“Now, Kuminga! now, Saric! now Moody and TJD!
Fantasy managers rushed to the wire with unhinged glee
Trayce Jackson-Davis it seemed
Was the best fantasy add
But Jonathan Kuminga
Was really not bad
Saric and Moody
Offered little intrigue
They’d best suit fantasy managers
Playing in deep leagues
Talen Horton-Tucker emerged
From a long, dormant slumber
With Jordan Clarkson out
He was posting big numbers
THT was getting buckets
And he was handing out dimes
And wait, he stole the ball
How many times?
Collin Sexton returned
His arrival most pleasant
The Young Bull was back
It was an early Christmas present
When what did my wondering eyes did appear?
But a couple of Suns gaining value sans Beal
Grayson Allen had come to Phoenix by way
Of the blockbuster Damian Lillard trade
Allen’s fantasy value
Was top-100 indeed
Aided by strong play
Of elite three-and-D
Eric Gordon’s three-pointers
Proved quite a wonder
The veteran showed
That age is just a number
That little old shooter
So lively and quick,
I knew in a moment
It wasn’t a trick
Tari Eason had shown
Bright flash after flash
To get to him, Fantasy managers
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!
His shot—how it went in!
His rebounds, so merry!
His name’s pronounced Tari
It doesn’t sound like “Terry”
His numbers were as productive
As Santa’s top elf
And I cried when I saw them
In spite of myself
And then, in a twinkling
Almost in a poof
I thought of Michael Jordan’s quote
“The ceiling is the roof”
James Wiseman delivered
Respectable stats
But few blocks and few steals
Made it feel somewhat flat
Lack of defense was common
Not part of his game
Marvin Bagley III didn’t offer much more
In fact, much of the same
But Wiseman it seemed
Was still worth a peek
Someone had to do something
To end this historic Pistons losing streak
I scoured the wire
For rebounds and swats
This backup center
Provided me lots
With MitchRob out months
And Sims dinged up too
Isaiah Hartenstein
Knew just what to do
His stat lines were useful
His playing time steady
I knew right away
That Thibs thought he was ready
Hartenstein had gone off
His production not tame
More rapid than eagles
His rebounds they came
The Cavs were shorthanded
Without Mobley or Garland
Isaac Okoro and Craig Porter Jr.
Made a case for me to start ‘em
With Spida banged up
Cleveland looked awfully hurt
Fortunately for them
They had Caris LeVert
He was always all business
And went straight to his work
His big game on Wednesday
Made me give a big smirk
Nay, not Okoro nor LeVert
Nor Porter Jr. were the man
That honor belonged
To a Merrill named Sam
Merrill hit long-range shots
And the ball sailed up toward heaven
And last time I counted
He had scored 27
Yes Merrill was hot
To the wire I flew
I couldn’t ignore 46 points and 13 triples
Over his last two
Mark Williams was banged up
So filling my center spot was tricky
My best plan of action?
Pick up Naughty Nicky
Charlotte’s backup big, Nick Richards
Was always good for
Some blocks, maybe points
And plenty of boards
Now D’Andre Hunter
Was a waiver wire lock
He’d been posting strong numbers
For the mediocre Hawks
Back from an injury
He looked nimble and spry
When I took him off of IR
I started to cry
Norm Powell was getting buckets
But could he do more
Than simply hit triples
And manage to score?
Dante Exum was back
After two years away
With no Kyrie Irving
Would he show his strong play?
Heat Culture continued
To gift us with pickups
D-Rob and Jaquez were here to stay
They weren’t just fantasy hiccups
Alex Caruso was thriving
‘Longside Coby White
With Zach LaVine out
Picking him up just felt right
As I hit the “Add” button
And made a delighted sound
Onto to my team
He came with a bound
His bald dome and headband
Gave me such pleasure
I knew right away
He’d be a waiver wire treasure
Myles Turner was back
But with a frontcourt spread thin
Isaiah Jackson was just the man
I needed to win
He sprang to the basket
And the ref blew a whistle,
And to the charity stripe he flew
Like the down of a thistle.
He gave me some rebounds
He gave me some blocks
For my fantasy team
He continued to rock
I glanced at my roster
And a gave a small smile
It hadn’t looked this good
In quite a long while
And I heard myself exclaim, while looking at this beautiful sight:
“Happy fantasy hoops season to all, and to all a good night!”